warning - this page is written for hetrosexuals who are struggling to interpret csa
and desire to live our lives within Biblical Morality.
If you believe you are gay by orientation
this page would be irrelevant
and unhelpful
if you are gay by orientation please exit this page.
***** may trigger survivors ***
but it may also provide helpfull insight for others.
This is a page based on my speculative untested theory
but it may be helpful to some survivors
it is only for mature survivors
with high processing skills
and spiritual discernment
here it is
that traumatic pre puberty csa is like the disorientation experienced after a head injury.
that the blow to our sexualness ( copyright - I invented the term) leaves some momentarily or for longer periods of time
sexually disorientated.
its part of disassociativnesses
csa can also produce a disconnectedness
in my case this disconnectedness lasted
for 56 years until my mothers disclosure
triggered a release of my memories
and I was able to process
which I was trying to do since I was 22.
I knew something within was drastically wrong
I just needed a prompting
my case was complicated by the fact that at two my brain was still neurologically developing
so it affected my short term memory
and at that age I was incapable of comprehending
what happened - mentally or psyilogically or sexually
as i was masively pre puberty.
thats one of the many evils of pre puberty csa
please note - its an idea
may be usefull to other survivors with similar csa
and its in the context of my Christian pre suppositions
with a dependance on God and prayer support.
and desire to live our lives within Biblical Morality.
If you believe you are gay by orientation
this page would be irrelevant
and unhelpful
if you are gay by orientation please exit this page.
***** may trigger survivors ***
but it may also provide helpfull insight for others.
This is a page based on my speculative untested theory
but it may be helpful to some survivors
it is only for mature survivors
with high processing skills
and spiritual discernment
here it is
that traumatic pre puberty csa is like the disorientation experienced after a head injury.
that the blow to our sexualness ( copyright - I invented the term) leaves some momentarily or for longer periods of time
sexually disorientated.
its part of disassociativnesses
csa can also produce a disconnectedness
in my case this disconnectedness lasted
for 56 years until my mothers disclosure
triggered a release of my memories
and I was able to process
which I was trying to do since I was 22.
I knew something within was drastically wrong
I just needed a prompting
my case was complicated by the fact that at two my brain was still neurologically developing
so it affected my short term memory
and at that age I was incapable of comprehending
what happened - mentally or psyilogically or sexually
as i was masively pre puberty.
thats one of the many evils of pre puberty csa
please note - its an idea
may be usefull to other survivors with similar csa
and its in the context of my Christian pre suppositions
with a dependance on God and prayer support.