ministries and support groups
and strategies are listed
on the Links Page

This page under construction.
warning - this page is written for hetrosexuals who are struggling to interpret csa
and desire to live our lives within Biblical Morality.

If  you believe you are gay by orientation
this page would be irrelevant
and unhelpful  
if you are gay by orientation please exit this page.

 *****  may trigger survivors ***

but it may also provide helpfull insight for others.

This is a page based on my speculative  untested theory

but it may be helpful to some survivors

it is only for mature survivors
with high processing skills
and spiritual discernment

here it is

that traumatic pre puberty csa is like the disorientation  experienced after a head injury.

that the blow to our sexualness ( copyright - I invented the term)  leaves some  momentarily or for longer periods of time
sexually disorientated.

its part of disassociativnesses

csa can also produce  a disconnectedness
   in my case this
disconnectedness lasted
for 56 years until my mothers disclosure
triggered a release of my memories
and I was able to process
which I was trying to do since I was 22.

I knew something within was drastically wrong
I just needed a prompting

my case was complicated by the fact that at two my brain was still neurologically developing
so it affected my short term memory
and at that age I was incapable of comprehending
what happened - mentally or psyilogically or sexually
as i was masively pre puberty.

thats one of the many evils of pre puberty csa

please note - its an idea

may be usefull to other survivors with similar csa

and its in the context of my Christian pre suppositions
with a dependance on God and prayer support.